Monday morning at Hamleys

As I walked to Hamleys I thought to myself it was quite peculiar that I now worked in Regent Street. I imagine dropping it in conversation, leaning against the wall of a very hip and trendy London bar, peering out of my Louis Vuitton sunglasses at the simpletons that surround me, each one drawn in by my dazzling presence. "Oh, well." I would purr, dragging on a cigarette and taking time with my words, letting them hang on to each lazily drawn out syllable; "It's just London you know."

"You're too early."

I and another over-eager inductionee, Dan, stood helplessly in front of the unnecessarily large desk that swamped the receptionist. It was difficult not to notice the odd quirks of the head office, the circus-esuqe mirrors that wave in and out mounted on the walls, the waiting area made up entirely of faux-gold thrones and the Barbie attached to the door of the women's toilets. "There's a Ken on the boys too." Lola would later tell us. We weren't allowed to wait in the reception on the thrones for some reason so instead we passed the time trying to find a can of Diet Coke on Regent Street (which is surprisingly hard.)

When we got back all the other inductionee's had taken the thrones and I must admit I'm still a little bit bitter about this. Eventually we were all led into the room where for the next two hours Lola, our inductioner, would teach us everything there is to know about Hamleys. For example, did you know that forty nine million, four hundred and twenty thousand, eight hundred bubbles are blown in the store each year? I didn't. I do now. Then she lead us out of the room to give us a tour of the entire shop, "Don't get distracted guys." was repeated several times.

I did not listen to a single thing she said the entire tour. It was incredibly difficult since we were walking past magicians, a Lego version of the royal family and a frosted pink room entirely dedicated to the whims and wishes of little girls. "I'm going to be working here! I work for Flitter Fairies!" said a girl in the group. "I want to work here too!" Said the sad voice of the little girl that lives inside me.

An employee held a small toy version of himself in his hand. I would later ask him why he had a small version of himself and his reply would be to hide behind a counter piled with seals and make very loud and convincing seal yelps at the passing customers.

After the tour we all ran off to our separate departments. I was assigned ground floor and got to meet Leanne, one of my bosses, who let me go have a break before I got stuck in with all the toy business. I was dithering about what kind of chocolate bar to get from the vending machine in a canteen full of future co-workers who slightly intimidated me with their McDonalds and microwavable lasanges. I finally decided on a KitKat Chunky however the hook spun too slowly so it just ended up balancing on its end and not budging. "Well," I thought to myself "This is embarrassing and unfortunate, but it's not like this could happen again?" Wrong. It can. So I ended up being the guy having an argument with a vending machine.

"C'mmmmaaaan don't do this to me."

My first job was to man the teddy bear section, it was time to put my charming sales skills into action. I spot a lone elderly couple ogling the glass cabinet filled with limited edition Steiff teddies and our conversation went a little something like this:

"Excuse me, would you be interested in buying some very expensive teddy bears today?"
Long Pause.
"No."

Then I spent a good hour blowing bubbles for toddlers, smiling like mad at literally everyone and having people dressed up as safari rangers squirt me with water pistols. I also had a nice conversation with an american woman who convinced me for a short while that she in fact owned an orangutan.

The rest of the day was spent putting back all the toys who'd wandered away from their shelves. I ended up deliberately taking my sweet time doing it just so I could cuddle the toys for a bit longer. When I was younger I used to be obsessed with Beanie Babies and I had to put back this Beanie Baby which was literally just an adorable purple ball of fluff and I just couldn't stop looking at it. It was literally too adorable and I need to have one in my life.

Speaking of literally too adorable I had an encounter with a toddler tottering about the Yoo Hoo section. He seemed to like the toy I had in my hand so I did the only sensible thing I could think of and brought it to his level so he could boop it's nose. It was love at first sight. He gently took it from me with his ridiculously tiny toddler hands and remained entranced with it's cuteness whilst his parents tried to coax him away. "Come on now, you don't really want that toy do you." I think you mean you don't want him to have that toy, Mr and Mrs I-Don't-Love-My-Child.

Eventually I had to stop creating problems for parents and go home but not before having an awkward side step dance with a giant teddy bear being lead by the safari ranger. I really hope this job doesn't kill my love for toys but as for now I'm just going to spend all my wages on literally everything.

Ciao for now x

So That Explains Why There's So Many

It was on

 the afternoon when

 the clown wrapped up balloons

for the children while their mothers 

sipped rose and talked of others. But

when the clown was done it esca-

ped up towards the sun

so now it remains

up

in

the

sky

where

you

might

see

it

still

fly

by.

Pont Saint Esprit, 1951

The bakery is on fire.

Stop these snakes from crawling out my mouth!

The town is on fire and our flesh

Stop these thorns bursting out my chest!

Sizzles.

 I can see it all so clearly.

Great fat beasts crawling out the gutters

filled with teeth that scrape the roads.

Bats only bigger, only longer. 

Get away!

Has it been like this for days?

"Save us! Save us! Whatever did we do to deserve this,

monstrous treatment to our lives?

Please kiss our mother's and father's goodbye,

for we fear that soon we shall surely die."

They would not know of the terrible things,
that had been planned for them.
Diethylamide in the bread, what could it do them?
For days they would spend trapped in this hell,
no escape from their own minds.
And the price? Five deaths.
A woman strangled. The rest institutionalized.

Drifting Off

The warm room is filled with traffics quiet hum,
and I am cucooned in bed.

Do you feel scared? Frightened?
No.
Sometimes, but not tonight.

I feel a memory. A school play.
And a darkness that moves forward,
and with it, violet roses swirl about me,
like the animations of fantasia.

And then I think of myself plucked from earth,
and placed into space amongst the fragmented galaxies.
I'd be so small compared to the burning stars,
and the cold hollow moon.

Do you feel lost? Suspended?
No.
I wonder whether admist all the darkness,
I could still see the how beautiful it all was?

And do you think of the sun?
Yes. I do now.
I see its surface churning.
And I could touch it,
and sink my arm into it.

Do you like it here?
I do. I like the unbelievability of it all.

Would you stay?
Forever? No.
I'd be tired of eternity eventually.

So what now?
I guess I'll stay dreaming until dawn catches up with me.

Daffodil

I am just buzzing
With life! Oh please get me
A drink of water.

Sunshine petals, ah!
Look at all us daffodil's
Brightening your day.

I’m quite tired now
I’ll curl up into the ground
And sleep until spring.

Choo Choo

Ticket Inspector coming, no free ride today.
Look out the window.

Cool light in laked woods,
makes me think of Cerulean.
Placing my feet in summer streams,
so that the pebbles may dig in my hard heels.

The machine has declined my card, this happens every time.
So I tell him it's his fault.
And he says no, go get some money out.
And I say I'm not running with all these bags.
And he says it won't take that long.
And I say it will.
And he says I'm just making excuses now.
Which I'm not,
but I say fine.
With much contempt.

It didn't take that long. And when I get back,
we spend ten awkward minutes together,
politely making it clear,
that we were in the right,
and they were in the wrong.
So now I'm sitting in a seat not as good as the last.

I want to move but the Ticket Inspector,
has just gone through the door.
And I don't want him to think I'm following him.

With all the years spent on the train, I wonder,
have I sat on every seat?

Fields gather up the water,
of rainy days barely remembered.
In them the sky is mirrored,
azure. The clouds are whisked up,
fit to burst. Juxtaposing. Cutting.
Through the dirty babe crops.
And the trolley man sits in the aisle next to me.

He faces my direction,
and when I look up, he looks away.

It might be the John Lennon glasses,
drawing in attention.
They make me feel extra confident and all together,
a better person.

The sun draws out the terrecotta,
of suburban rooftops.

And then the train stops. Letting on
well maintained teenage girls,
and I find my self slightly intimidated.

The John Lennon glasses make me feel a bit silly now.

Ballad for the Boy

I got the call on a Tuesday,
the morning crisp and fresh.
The snow will lay the ground tonight,
my friend will lay to rest.

The girls at work had cried all day,
the boss had taken leave.
And I, unsure of what to think,
had little time to grieve.

He lost his loved one months before,
the reason I dare not ask.
Although I knew he hurt inside,
the extent I could not grasp.

And it seems I could not help him,
from drowning in his grief.
His sister found him hanging,
he sunk to the beneath.

It's sad and strange and I have to admit,
that I don't know what to say.
The only thing that comes to mind;
Such a shame. Such a shame. Such a shame.

University Is Over

Hurrah! And I'm starting my new job at Hamleys on Monday! :D I hope I get discounts on build-a-bear merchandise.

I'm going to upload all the poems I've written for this semester in a great huge bundle so you can all become inspired by my thoughtful insights on life.

I have a feeling that with a lack of a university course prodding me to do some writing I may slack off. I'll have to keep an eye on myself over the summer, it's very likely that instead of writing I may drink myself into a Pimms oblivion.

Here's a little haiku to start things off:

Pimms oblivion
I shouldn't be drinking it
It makes me lary

adios x